The Nursery

This is what I've gotten done so far...

Clothes aren't coming down from the attic until we know what it is, and I'm trying to not buy too much stuff until after the first trimester is behind us. You don't get a shower for a second child, do you? I'm registered, but I'm treating it more like a check list. Luckily for us, most of Trevors things were gender neutral in color and design (by design!)

Diabetes: A Girls Need To Rant

It truly is the stupidest disease in existence. It’s idiotic, it follows no logic! I felt this way when I had it for 12 years, I’ve been in remission for 2 ½ years, and now I’m having to monitor it just in case it creeps up to hurt the baby. Here’s an example of it’s idocy:

Last night, I ate healthy whole grain pasta (1/2 cups cooked), my dinner has a total of 7gms of sugar, and yet 2 hours after my blood sugar is 167 (needs to be under 130) for breakfast today i have a mint cookie balance bar with 16gms of sugar, two hours later my sugar is 77! Is my pancreas really so lazy that it doesn’t bother unless I give it a certain amount of sugar?! My daily sugar intake is between 15gm-40gms, and I cannot bring myself to increase it, especially with the reactive hypoglycemia. Evidently 16gms is within my threshold, I think my reactive level is at 30gms which is how I came to declare that my daily allotment, though some days creep up to 40, especially if I have a Balance Bar (but they used to be so good before everything started tasting like cardboard!).

So, low blood sugar makes you energetic, not hungry, and have a positive outlook. It’s a good place to be.

Sudden drops in blood sugar make you tired, dizzy, nauseous. And yet you are supposed to eat something?!

High blood sugar makes you tired and hungry, and yet you need to not eat and/or exercise to bring it down. Shooting up insulin just makes you hungrier and if you do too much then you HAVE TO eat again.

 

With Trevor (pregnancy #1) my sugar was very low for the first trimester, started creeping up around the 2^nd and spiraled out of control for the 3^rd. I was hungry all the time, seriously, my hunger knew no bounds after the first 2 months. I made a lot of bad decisions and I couldn’t stop myself. I know it wasn’t Trevor wanting/needing certain foods, all he needed was for me to take care of us, and I didn’t. I fed the disease instead of fighting it.

 

My surgery 2 ½ years ago gave me the strength I needed to take control of my health, but let me tell you its driving me crazy with this pregnancy.

 

So far I’ve got ridiculously low blood sugar, if I don’t eat every 3 hours, I drop. I’m not hungry at all to the point I forget to eat, my sugar drops, I vomit. Not exactly morning sickness, I call it an annoyance sickness, it’s driving me batty. I don’t want to overeat because once I get in the habit it will be hard to cut back. If I follow form, my sugar will probably stabilize soon, even start creeping up, which we do not want.

I’m tired all the time, so I’m not exercising as much as I would like, but I’m logging my foods and checking my sugars. I’ve got an appointment with the perinatologist on the 11^th for nuchal translucency screening, diabetes counseling (I’m worried about how their advice will conflict with my bariatric dietitian’s), and a visit with the doctor. I’ll see the regular OB first thing that morning, find out what my A1C was and see where to go from there.

 

I’m trying really hard to not let myself stress over anything right now, there’s so much out of my control. My weight is up and down, but within 3 lbs so I’m not terribly worried. My waist is expanding but I think my hips have decided to spread, I seem to be getting wider. Some days I feel like I’m showing, today being one of them. My stomach hurts when touched, the doc said it’s just my uterus working on stretching, but it still sucks.

 

I finally had 1 fasting under 100!! It was 99 yesterday morning, I had hoped the WW pasta was the secret, but I was back up to 104 this morning. My fasting is never really within the requested range, my liver is defective and likes to dump too much sugar in the wee hours. I can’t do anything for it. I’ve tried Extend snacks before bed, I’ve tried protein shakes before bed, I’ve tried whole grains with dinner but that is hit or miss for AM and ALWAYS high for the 2 hour post dinner check. My sugars are low/normal after breakfast and lunch, and mostly after dinner, so I don’t think they’ll attack me over it, I’m not even on any medications and I have these pretty numbers. I don’t want to have to go on anything if I can avoid it. Wish I knew what my A1C was… soon, I guess.

 

In short, diabetes is stupid and I’m trying to not be J Have a great day, thanks for letting me vent.

First Appointment and Picture

 

We had our first appointment yesterday (January 14, 2013). Everything looks normal and on their schedule. Kicsi is showing as 8 weeks 2 days (3 now) old. It’s heart rate was 169 and it appeared to be posing.

Our appointment lasted 3 hours between the ultrasound, the intake, labs, and visiting with Dr. Thomas. The doctor remembered me from my first pregnancy and is thrilled with my weight loss and lack of diabetes right now. She’s still sending me to the perinatologist for evaluation, but doesn’t think they will need to see me throughout the entire pregnancy. She put me in the “moderate risk” category because of my 12 year diabetic history, but is impressed with my A1C (6.0 without any medication) and thinks I can be downgraded to “normal” once I get checked out by the specialist. Fingers crossed! I’ve made my appointments, they will see me at 12 weeks for my first trimester screening, diabetic counselor consultation, and visit with the doctor. There will probably be an ultrasound though it wasn’t specified. I have my regular 12 week check-up scheduled for the same day. Busy day for 2/11/13. I’m taking the whole day off for a half days worth of appointments, I’m pretty sure I’ll be exhausted. Mom and Grandma should still be here, maybe I’ll get them to chauffeur me around for the day so I don’t have to drive home all exhausted, we’ll see.

So do you want to see the baby? I think it’s actually an alien, and yet somehow, it’s still very cute.

 

 

 

 

 

It looks like it's holding its legs up

the face is in 3/4 profile, like it's saying, HI! loookit me, I'm cute. Which makes sense, considering it will be a Leo.

 

Due date is 8/24 (a Saturday) and they plan to cut it out (I have been notified I will be a scheduled c-section) a week sooner. I'm hoping to hold off until the 21st, my birthday is the 19th (the first Monday of after 39 weeks).

 

We'll see what happens and how this little one grows.

 

Welcome to my life, Kicsi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately, this is the body it will be sharing with me, I did not have any plastic surgery after I lost my weight, so it isn't pretty. but i plan to do belly shots with each ultrasound.

 

My First 7 Weeks

I don’t know why, but I expected this time around to be super easy. I mean, I’m healthy now, everything should be easier, not the case.

First time around I got knocked up without even trying, a major oopsies, our relationship was still very new, so new that the last normal menstrual period they counted the pregnancy from was before I’d even met my now husband.

This time, it took us 3 months to get pregnant (I know, whine whine whine, some people take years). In this time I learned I ovulate a week before my period is due. If I miss my period I won’t get a positive on my pregnancy test (most ladies ovulate 2 weeks before the start of their period). So when they tested me during my annual check-up after my period was already 4 days late, I got a negative. Let me tell you, that threw us through a loop, I’m pretty regular and I had spotting (implantation) the day before my period was due. I knew I was, so having been denied was confounding.

December 21^st, I woke up at the crack of dawn for no reason. I had to pee and I had a pregnancy test so I figured I’d go for it. Being Friday it was close enough. Lo and behold I got my “PREGNANT” on the lovely EPT digital. I love them, but if I was having any more kids, I would realize that buying a test is pointless since I can’t test until a week after missing my period and honestly, that’s already your answer, isn’t it?

So, moving on, la la la, Happy Solstice I’m pregnant! Best gift ever!! I do some math, I’m due around my birthday. Called the OB set up my 8 week appointment (don’t tell them, but I’ll only be 7 ½ weeks by then, but those silly folks used my last period to calculate and I’m not opposed to seeing my little T-Rex early).

We’re keeping the news pretty quiet until Monday’s ultrasound. Once I hear and see our baby I’ll be hard pressed to not scream the news from the rooftops, we are THAT excited.

My son is overjoyed by the thought of a baby. Unfortunately he won’t be allowed to attend the ultrasounds, I was really hoping he could to help him bond, but he’s learning to be extra gentle with me in the meantime. I think it’ll sink in more when I bring him home pictures and I start to really show.

Speaking of, at 7 weeks, I’m already showing, I have a soft curve going on, it’s a little irritating. How am I supposed to keep a secret with my already changing body?

My little blueberry has been making my wardrobe annoying since it’s sesame sized days, and I’m already in maternity pants. Holding off on the shirts cuz they are wicked obvious, but I’ve had to pack up all of my shorter shirts that would show my belly banded maternity pants.

On to the symptoms!

I’m freezing all the time, I am guessing that has to do with the estrogen flooding my body much like it did when I was in my rapid weight loss phase and was cold ALL THE TIME. I’m at work, with layers of clothes and a space heater (not a small one either, it’s like 4 feet long) and I’m still shivering from time to time.

My boobs hurt, they’ve been hurting since we started trying, I think my body has decided my poor deflated boobs were no long considered mature and needed some work. They have nearly obtained their former fullness (not size thank goodness, though I’m sure I’m up to a D now). While me and my husband love the effect I just wish the growing process hadn’t been so painful.

I’m not hungry, but if I don’t eat every 3 hours my blood sugar plummets. Considering I couldn’t keep my sugar down within normal ranges during my first pregnancy this is just freaking weird. Of course because my sugar is normal or low, I’m never hungry, which leads to the drops, or worse, the queasiness I didn’t really have the first time around.

I’m exhausted, I’m supposed to be coordinating surprise efforts for my husband’s birthday and I’m just not able to make things happen the way I saw them in my head. They’ll still be awesome and it will still happen, but I’m frustrated with myself for not putting in the effort he deserves.

I ache this time around too. My joints are loose and sore, I didn’t so much notice that last time around.

I’m not really complaining, I’m just amazed over how different things can be and how different isn’t any easier. Healthy really doesn’t change my mindset either. I still worry about my developing baby, I still fear miscarriage. I’m more mindful of my food when I get a choice, but it’s rather bossy on that too. I have developed an aversion to fat, turns my stomach. I know it’s for the best, but sometimes a girl just wants wings, or canned chicken, turkey, or salmon and it’s hard to get myself to eat any of those things right now. Bring on trimester 2!